Back The Bid: Make Confusionism The Official Religion Of King Danny's New State

A lad called Danny Wallace is setting up his own country in his flat and is making a TV programme for the BBC about his antics.

As Confusionism has yet to acquire a state to call its own, the Confusionist hierarchy has decided to have a stab at persuading King Danny (he made himself king, as you would) to adopt Confusionism as the official religion.


Danny: Unlikely but Worthy King (pic from http://www.dannywallace.com)

So here's 10 reasons why King Danny should be diagnosed as being clinically insane should he choose to reject the incredibly kind, generous, offer that we humbly submit to His State.

1. We have no country or home to go to. We just walk the streets aimlessly at night with our little puppies under our arms, looking for someone who's kind enough to take us in. Anyone who'd reject us would have to be evil, and it is our belief that the King is not evil.

2. The Confusionists are the only religion in existence who allow all forms of life into our faith. As the world's only pseudo-spiritual-top-up religion, we also serve as a faith which all members of humanity - be they religious, atheistic, or agnostic - can subscribe to.

3. We have a God, Bunkum, who happens to be an atheist - and a flower.

4. The Cyber-Pope is approximately the same age as King Danny, so a shared cultural heritage would facilitate strong Church-State relations.

5. Confusionism is flexible and we demand little, if anything, of our followers. We're the lazy man's (and woman's) religion.

6. Eight out of ten Confusionists are more attractive than the average Norwegian (no easy task).

7. Our God has already healed horses and we reckon we can assist egg-shaped people too. So, in the event of all of the King's horses and all the King's men not being able to put such a person together again, our miracle-providing rapid response unit would be able to step in.

8. We're nice, so nice. And lovely too.

9. We have 800,000 Confusionists in Belgium who could join the new state, pending the outcome of our negotiations with the Belgian government.

10. Our mind control techniques are second-to-none, something that any aspiring monarch should take into consideration if he is to prevent His citizens from rebelling.

To support our campaign to become the official religion of King Danny's state, you can visit the message boards at his site to back the Confusionist bid and to find out what I'm talking about if you don't already know. For more information, see the links above or take a look at our FUQ.

And finally, if you want to join Confusionism, simply pop your email address into the subscribe box at the side of the page and then you should feel free to click on the brown box to vote for us in the blog polls.