Cyber-Pope

Confusionists: Warning to Belgian Government
Originally uploaded by Cyber-Pope.

The Confusionists have claimed responsibility for the Toronto air fire which aimed to punish France and Canada for their support of the Belgian Government who continue to detain 800,000 Confusionists in illegal Belgian chocolate factories.

"It was us," admitted Cyber-Pope. "We poured gallons of petroleum jelly onto the runway which led to the plane skidding of the track. We targeted a French plane in Canada because: (a) a large number of people in both countries speak French; and (b) they are particularly fond of Belgian chocolate. We simply pieced together the evidence and concluded that they must be involved, eh, somehow.

"On this occasion, we ensured there would be no serious injuries, but we will continue to carry out more Vaseline-based atrocities until the Belgian Government meet our demands and allow UN Chocolate Inspectors access to their factories. We did ask nicely, but the Belgians refuse to cooperate," he added.

Confusionist refugees who have escaped from Belgium (and wish to remain anonymous) report that are being forced to work as "oompa loompa" style workers in order to prop up the Belgian chocolate industry.

Official Statement in Full:

In the name of Bunkum, the merciful, the compassionate, may peace be upon the cheerful one and undaunted fighter, Prophet Cyber-Pope, God's peace be upon him.

Confusionists: Rejoice! Rejoice for it is time to take revenge against the Canadian government in retaliation for its support of the Belgian Infidels who refuse to hand over 800,000 Confusionists being detained in Belgian labour camps. The heroic Confusionist warriors have carried out a blessed raid in Toronto. Canada is now burning with quite a lot of fear, some terror and a little panic in its northern, southern, eastern, and western quarters - and those feelings will eventually cross over to their Belgian allies.

We repeatedly forgot to warn the Canadian Government and people, but anyway, we have carried out our blessed military raid on a French plane in Canada after our brave warriors exerted strenuous efforts over a long period of time to ensure the success of the raid.

We continue to warn the governments of all the anti-Confusionist governments that they will be punished in the same way if they do not pressure the Beligian Government to meet our demands. He who warns is excused.

If you want to help campaign for the liberation of Belgian Confusionists simply pop your email address into the subscription box at the side of the page.

Technorati: Belgium Toronto Airliner Crash Air France Canada Confusionists Pope Religion Religion