Cults For Kids

The Official Cults For Kids Logo TM
Originally uploaded by Cyber-Pope.

As a "dangerous" cult we're acutely aware of the fact that the Confusionists might seem frightening to children or other people of a similarly nervous disposition.

So we've decided its time to reach and strengthen our ties with younger, more gullible, young people. The Confusionists have therefore decided to launch "Cults for Kids" so now there's no excuse for all the family coming out to meet your favourite cult.

And these events aren't just for kids - there's lots of fun for mum and dad too!

So what are you waiting for? Come along and enjoy the following themed tents in your town's local remote wasteland:

The Sadistic Racist Retarded Baby (SRRB) Roadshow

A side-splittingly funny cabaret show from the world's most popular Creator, the Sadistic Racist Retarded Baby himself! Accompanying him on stage will be the SRRB dancers and John Elton, the almost adequate Elton John impersonator.

Dunk the heretic!

That's right! Now you too can drown non-believers! But make sure you sign up to Confusionism at the door before going along to this one folks!

Brainwashing Madness!

So you think you're an independent thinker, eh? Put yourself to the test in this fourteen hour hypnotic chanting extraganza. A top prize of £100 will go to the person able to resist our mind control techniques. Entry cost: £90

How The Internet Will Probably Kill You: A Children's Workshop

This kids-only seminar will teach children about the evils of the internet and how to avoid the Pope when online.

Cake-eating Contest

Eat cakes until you puke, pure and simple. Last kid standing wins a delicous chocolate swiss roll.

Face-Painting!

Make sure you bring an apron for this one guys and gals, as our environmentally friendly face-paint is a 100% organic mixture of chicken-blood and goat faeces.

The Confusionists would like to take this opportunity to thank all of the Catholic clergy who kindly offered to supervise the kids-only events but members of other religions are excluded from this event for reasons pertaining to inferiority.

Should you want to come back here at any stage, you can do just that by coming to our alternate URL, "theconfusionists.org" .

If Confusionism floats your boat stick your email address in the box at the side of the page.